Thursday, September 2, 2010

Divorce - How to Survive With Your Sanity

According to the CDC 856,000 people went through a divorce in 2007. That was a seven year low, down from 944,000 in 2001. Of these numbers, approximately two-thirds of the time, the divorce action was filed by the wife.

What do you do when you are caught by surprise? There is no amount of hindsight that can make up for the shock and disbelief involved with discovering that the person who vowed to cherish you until death do you part, now is backing out on that commitment.

Divorce is a painful time. Love, hope and dreams you thought would last forever, end in a tangle of anger and sorrow. Sometimes there are warnings: the fights over money, sex, child rearing. Sometimes it is as unexpected as a bolt of lightning on a sunny day. Whatever the advance notice, it is hard to prepare emotionally for something so devastating. Mental health professionals acknowledge the correlation between divorce and depression. The loss is similar to the death of a loved one.

In addition to the psychological trauma of divorce, there are the practical concerns: child custody, division of assets, alimony and child support. In addition to facing the loss of a life partner, the divorcing couple is facing the loss of a lifestyle.

Typically, the home is awarded to the parent with custody. But what happens if there is joint custody? How do you apportion furniture, personal property, even pets accumulated through the years? Is the grandfather clock your Aunt Agnes gave you on your eighteenth birthday, up for grabs with the rest of your possessions?

It would be nice to think that the person who vowed to love and cherish you until death do you part would exercise fairness and good judgment in the separation agreement. Good judgment, however, is not a defining characteristic of the emotional whirlwind that descends on divorcing couples. The feelings of resentment, betrayal and anger are much more likely to be in play.

Regrettable as the situation is, there is no use in hoping it will go away by itself. If you have exhausted all attempts at reconciliation, it is time to get an advocate to guide you through the legal minefield. Child custody arrangements and equitable division of assets go more smoothly when objective parties are guiding the negotiations.

Engaging an attorney to handle the details of separation and divorce does not mean that you are out to gouge your former love. You wouldn't operate on yourself if you needed surgery. You would turn to a surgeon…a good one. Choosing an attorney is the best thing you can do to salvage whatever fond feelings you may still have for each other. The details are handled by cooler heads and can be decided with more objectivity.

The Law Office of Kelly Koch, Corpus Christi Divorce Attorneys

Office hours are Monday through Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 5 p.m., with evening and weekend consultations available by appointment.

The Law Office of Kelly Koch is located in Corpus Christi, Texas and provides family law representation to clients throughout South Texas from communities such as Corpus Christi, Robstown, Port Aransas, Aransas Pass, Sinton, Kingsville, Alice, Portland and Rockport.
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